Real People with Star Wars Names

If you know me, which you do (or don't), you know that I'm into names of made-up people, places, and things. (Read this whole post about my love of made-up words.) Also, if you've ever had the (mis)fortune of sharing an office with me, you know that I don't think very highly of many of the names of characters from the Star Wars universe. It's one of my "charming" things.

As a nomophile, I'm offended by the lack of care with which (it appears) many Star Wars names were crafted. To illustrate the lackluster hodgepodge that is Star Wars naming, take a look at the following list. Half of these are names of actual Star Wars characters, and half are names I made up in three seconds. Can you tell which is which?

1. Sio Bibble
2. Frik Tingo
3. Gobb Goon
4. Lok Durd
5. Glu Tranta
6. Poggle the Lesser
7. Joclad Danva
8. Sy Snootles
9. Sprut Wykoochis
10. Dwar-kar Yambri

(The real ones: 1, 4, 6, 7, 8. If you identified the right ones, you should probably find other movies to watch.)

With all that in mind, please enjoy this list of real people who could (or should!) be Star Wars characters.

• Sepp Blatter (scandal-tarnished FIFA president; second-string podracer pilot)
• Fee Waybill (frontman of the Tubes; shaggy Mos Eisley Cantina patron)
• Trent Lott (thankfully former US senator; crummy bounty hunter)
• Reince Priebus (chairman of the Republican National Committee; Death Star janitor droid)
• Bob Balaban (beloved character actor; minor Jedi from an obscure planet)

Do you know more Star Wars people stranded in the real world? Let me know.